A PARENT'S GIFT
By Hedda Tady
If you’ve known me for a long time - virtually or in real life - you’d know I don’t have much of a filter. Reason? I have got my own way far too many times, by being real. Doors that were closed were opened for my children because I chose to live my truth. It is that simple.
While raising this young lady to your left, I was always accused of making her my “best friend”. It was to say that I should get a life and not liver hers. I just smiled at that. It was easy for people to tell themselves stories about how other people lived, when all they had were snippets of a life, never the whole picture.
She has grown into an independent spirit, free and gentle and tough at the same time - a whole human being, separate and distinct from her mother, not a mere shadow, never a mini-me.
How I live my life is no secret from her, but I am my own person, too - a woman who is distinct and separate from her.
A lot of people say “she is just like you” the first time they meet her. What they really mean is, she has the best qualities I had to offer, but she is also so much more!
Why am I telling you this?
It is because in my culture, I see far too many children get lost in their parents’ shadows and unfulfilled dreams. A sad affair.
There are very few of us who mindfully and intentionally raise our daughters to be both strong of character and will and gentle of heart and soul. I see so many young Filipina growing up thinking and believing “they are never enough”. When in reality, they are beautiful of spirit, external features and have so much promise.
I make no apologies for my life choices.
I have no regrets about how I ran the parenting marathon.
I have only gratitude for the global village that has been fully present in my children’s lives.
I am giddy with the possibilities of a future that will always be like a fork - one path is ours to share, the other two are our own individual roads to carve, to design, to live.
The best GIFT a parent can ever give to her own child/children, is this : to take care of oneself, to have dreams all your own, to tell them they are more than enough and that their spirits are beautiful, and most importantly, to remain grounded in one’s own truth.
There is no need to complicate the simple. On to the next phase of a life that’s lived in gratitude to the Maker, but always mindful that we each design our lives because the Maker gave us free will AND choice!
Source: FB/October 16, 2021
